One more reason soccer (yes soccer) sucks

The great part about being American is that I’m entitled to be an arrogant snob. We do our things our way, and when the Democrats are not in power we don’t really care what the rest of the world thinks about our choices.

That’s one reason soccer never really caught on in America. Instead of following the rest of the world’s lead, we came up with more entertaining sports and relegated soccer to second tier status. We have football, baseball, and basketball. We don’t need a sport that requires inebriation in order to find it worth watching.

When I considered the end to the recent World Cup final, I got pissed off (no I didn’t subject myself to actually watch it). Yes, I wanted America to win because it’s amusing to have us beat the world at something we barely care about, but it pissed me off because it seems an absurd way to end such a thing. I get having methods that keep a sporting event from going on forever. This is even more important when you are mid-tournament. A game that goes on forever in the middle of a tournament can wreck scheduling and the like. Having said that, football doesn’t have field goals to decide a winner (close but not quite) in overtime, basketball doesn’t have a three point contest in overtime to decide a winner, and baseball doesn’t have a home run derby to end the game.

Why then, at the end of the supposedly biggest event in soccer. The culmination of years of planning, do they decide that it should come down to penalty kicks? Was the booze wearing off? If they kept playing would the sobering fans realize what a boring spectacle they were witnessing? Did the World Cup players have prior commitments? More important things to do?

Why not just cut the crap and have a coin toss? Why not just admit your sport sucks, and your event sucks so much you can’t even be bothered to let it keep going until a team wins the actual game being played?

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  1. Jairzinho
    Posted July 20, 2011 at 5:08 am Permalink

    You need to be drunk to enjoy ’soccer’? Ha! That’s rich!

    The three American sports you list – Football, Baseball and Basketball – are three of the dullest, blandest, most interminable endurance tests on the planet. Dull as dishwater. If anyone can enjoy them sober, good luck to em.

    Soccer, on the other hand, has innumerable facets and subtleties; ebb and flow; a grand, operatic sweep; it is poetry, triumph, tragedy, comedy. Yet it is also the best game because it is the simplest game.

    And games did sometimes used to be settled with a coin toss.

  2. Posted July 21, 2011 at 7:25 pm Permalink

    Did you really say poetry? That sucks to. I’m with you on the comedy part though.

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