Welcome to The Asylum, an eclectic blog. Posts may be viewed in chronological order, or categories; Entertainment, Politics, Random, and Sports. Posts may be sorted by authors, via the archives (sidebar) and full posts (upper navigation), or "Possibly related posts" (on some post pages).

Vanilla Ice Stole My Gum!

I put up a Vanilla Ice Stole My Gum page, because he’s that friggin’ awesome! If you want more, go there and revel in the hilarious insanity that is Vanilla Ice Stole My Gum. Rather than reiterate my introduction on the page, I’ll just quote one of his posts:

ICEMAM? Oookay… Puff Daddy DOES want to play the scarecrow in “The Wiz.” Vanilla wants to play Glinda the good witch, and he’s been making alterations to his waitress outfit for the part. Vanilla iz kicking azz? Who’s azz could Vanilla pozzibly kick? Gary Coleman could kick Vanilla’z azz. Woody Allan could kick Vanilla’z azz. Hell, the freakin’ Teletubbiez could probably kick Vanilla’z azz. As for me, I don’t give a zhit who kickz Vanilla’z azz…I juzt want my gum back. ***VANILLA ICE AND GILBERT GODFRIED ARE THE ZAME PERZON!!!***

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SEC Football Week 3

SEC Football Power Rankings: How Do Quarterbacks Stand Heading into Week 3?
In football, the quarterback is both the most important and most scrutinized player on the field, which leads to intense pressure from coaches, teammates, fans, and the media. And in an elite college football conference like the SEC, facing top-notch defenses every Saturday raises the stakes even higher for quarterbacks. However, SEC quarterbacks have risen to the occasion and thrived under …

Read more on Bleacher Report

Week 3 SEC Preview: A Birthday Curse For Years To Come
Come Sunday, I realized what I’d done. My second son was going to be born during Florida-Tennessee week. The scarlet letter of football defeat year after year after year — sometimes on his actual birthday — and always within mere days. What had I done to a budding sports fan? To my own flesh and blood? How did I not pay more attention to the procreation calendar?…

Read more on Fanhouse

SEC predictions, week #3
The smoke coming from your computer screen is just one indication of how hot the Fan is so far this year in predicting the outcome of SEC contests. Last week’s perfect 9-0 record brings the total for the year to 20-1. Yes, I know. I’m good…

Read more on The Fan Attic

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TTT – Tiny Thumb Thursday – Momonga

Momonaga? It’s a Japanese dwarf flying squirrel.  Wiki has only a little information about these cute animals. If you want to find out more, you can click here. But none of these pages can describe how cute the Pteromys momonga – Japanese flying sqirrels are:

They are even cuter in a pack (pay attention to the one in the background):

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Mind your own damn business

ZoningIn the midst of the American government deciding how much to increase cut (it’s the Obama tax cuts now) our taxes and who specifically to victimize, I can’t help but become incensed at how far the government thinks it has a right to intrude into our lives. Almost a hour’s drive away from me, in Pensacola a legal battle is being waged which essentially comes down to whether or not the government has a right to force me to purchase health insurance. This should not be debatable, what purpose does insurance serve if we all have to have it?

A favored form of government intrusion is zoning laws. They exist for the powers that be to tell us what we can do on private property. I can imagine a function for zoning laws. You should probably have one if you want to detonate high explosives within a residential district, store nuclear waste, or the like. Private property doesn’t give you the right to pollute or endanger your neighbors. However, why on earth should a commercial building with plumbing be disallowed for residential use? Why should someone not be allowed to farm on their own land? Is not farming the most basic of rights? Yet, at every turn we need the government’s permission to earn a living and provide for ourselves on our own property! This is a completely inexcusable fact. For the most part, zoning laws exist only to contribute funds to the government and to further empower corrupt politicians.

The government is the constant intruder. Depending on where you live, you might have restrictions on your light bulbs, bags, beverages, garage door openers, cars, lawnmowers, firearms, etc… We don’t even know to what extent they restrict a lot of products because we simply lack the ability to purchase them. Often times, we’ve seen moves for or against things with rather short sighted objectives or simple lack of information. We were once told that paper bags were bad, then slowly started to decide it was the non-biodegradable, non-renewable plastic bags that were the problem. Of course we realized this after a massive push to eliminate paper bags. The response? Well of course we have to restrict plastic bags. This type of heavy handed, overreaction is typical of certain types of people and conveniently it is these same types of people that think they have a right to use their vote to tell someone else what to do. As the global warming claims become more dubious one has to wonder how much damage we might have done (you know, using the rain forests for bio fuel and the like) and trillions we might have wasted simply because the government feels it knows better than we do as individuals.

People will make mistakes. This is going to happen. The problem is that when one group of people is able to take the individual rights away, they remain capable of making mistakes, but on a much larger scale (Mao’s induced famine, which killed tens of millions for example). The greatest wrong in this instance being the ability for the government to not only deprive us of our rights, but to force us to bring harm upon ourselves. What greater indignation can we face than that?

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A few days late…

… but still worth a post.

The Rolling Memorial is a semi-trailer truck painted with a mural intended to honor the victims of the 9/11 attacks.

Read More »

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Saudi Bling Bling!

Bling! The original He Man Women Hater Kingdom just scored the largest arms deal in history! Snatching up hot weaponized goodies like

The deal will authorize Saudilanders to buy as many as 84 new F-15 fighters, upgrade 70 more, and purchase three types of helicopters—70 Apaches, 72 Black Hawks and 36 Little Birds.
The hot! sweet part of all this is that Gay Free Persia’s Preacher Command has to seriously re think and retarget those 11K missiles per minute - on Saudi airfields scattered throughout the peninsula of intolerance.

Bling bling bay bee! from GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD

“…On top of the $60 billion package of fighter jets and helicopters, Great Satan is discussing a potential $30 billion package to upgrade Saudi Arabia’s naval forces. An official described these as “discreet, bilateral conversations” in which no agreement has yet been reached. That deal could include littoral combat ships, surface vessels intended for operations close to shore.

“…Talks are also underway to expand Saudi Arabia’s ballistic-missile defenses. Great Satan is encouraging the Saudis to buy systems known as THAAD—Terminal High Altitude Defense—and to upgrade its Patriot missiles to reduce the threat from Iranian rockets. Unclear how much this package would be worth.

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Fox News – Horrorcore Rap

Asylum escapee Mars found his way on TV a while ago…

Mark Zinni of Fox 8 news in Cleveland, Ohio takes a look inside the world of horrorcore rap with Bay Area rap artist Mars. Covers horrorcore rap fans and mass murderers Jeff Weise and Syko Sam McCroskey including footage of Insane Clown Posse’s “Gathering Of The Juggalos”.

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Oh, I need that!

Fake eyelashes for cars! Because mine isn’t cute enough yet….

Report and Video

Where to buy?

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9/11 Remembered

I have alluded previously to the prior existence of The Asylum. It and it’s sister site existed during 9/11. Here are some reactions that were posted at the time:

9/11/01 – BalconyDive – 15:04
I had this whole update planned about writing a tree & my engligh & psych classes from yesterday but thatll probably end up waiting a day or two.

By know you know what happened today. We’ve yet to know WHO set this attack up or even WHY but I do knot this…thank god for W. Just wait…W will get to the bottom of this & avenge the needless death. The smart money seems to be on Osama Bin Laden, the Afghanistan cocksucking terrorist who blew up the U.S.S. Cole. A Palistinian group reportadley took credit for the attack but that report was later disregarded meaning either they recinded or someone was jumping to conclussions.

A mass of people in Palestine did however file into the streets celebrating.Singing, Dancing, Chanting ”God is Good”, and passing out Candy.

Every news outlet & ”Ex” or ”Retired” millitairy higherup or Governmental higherup has pointed the finger at Osama Bin Laden and have called this a war like attack. When this does escilate to World War III I wish that I could enlist and go kill the fucks that did this…

9/11/01 – Miss Fiend – 19:44
Where were you on 9/11/01?
I was at work. Trying to work, I was very busy actually until I turned on the radio and I was shocked by the news. Then it was like the whole company just shut down, we all stayed, watched the news but little got done.

I went through the same shock, horror, anger and grief as everyone else. I am appalled and devestated by the lives lost.

I shall wait though, and hope that the people who are responsible are punished. I will hope that another innocent does not die.

9/11/01 – VanillaIceStoleMyGum – 19:55
The attack, the illusion of security, and ramblings.
I’m really starting to realize I’ve enjoyed the illusion of security in this country as much as the next guy. The realization that I’m just as capable as anyone of assuming I’m in a perfectly safe place, and even of saying “fuck the world as long as I’m safe HERE,” is enough to make me hate myself. I’ve fooled myself into believing I’m above that sort of thing, but the way I feel right now is proving me wrong.

The truth is, this kind of thing has been going on all over the world (although this is certainly the largest terrorist attack I can ever remember hearing of,) and I’d love to pretend that every incident in every country has affected me as much as this. But it hasn’t. It’s at my doorstep now, and that makes all the difference in the world. It shouldn’t, though, should it? We’re all human beings, and I’ve always believed all people are equal.

Go look at the Yahoo News message boards if you want to get sick…there are repeated messages on there suggesting that we go out into the streets, burn down all the Mosques, and shoot all the Arabs we see.

Given the muscle-flexing bully we’ve got running the country, what’s next? We’re going to declare war on somebody. We’ve already decided, without any evidence as far as I can tell, that Osama Bin Laden, our latest Saddam/Darth Vader figure, is resposible for the attack. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. Before we make the mistake Clinton made and just start bombing the fuck out of places we THINK Bin Laden might be, though, shouldn’t we make sure he’s really involved? YES, he’s an asshole, but he may or may not be the one responsible for this. The last major terrorist act in this country wasn’t committed by a dark-skinned Arab named Osama…it was committed by a white-skinned American named Timothy.

I’m rambling now. I know that. This has just really gotten to me. I can’t even get my mind around the devastation and my fears about what’s coming.

For now, I guess all I can do is offer my sincere condolensces to those who have lost friends and family.

I encourage anyone who is able to donate blood or money to the Red Cross. They’re gonna be very busy in the upcoming days. They accept online donations via credit card.

I hope with all my heart that this is the end of the violence.

“An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind” – Gandhi


9/12/01 – Mack – 11:48
Shittiness Supreme…
A lot of people have been waiting for me to weigh in on what’s happened. Wondering what tidbits of wisdom I may provide to the current situation. Well this is one of those rare times when I am at a loss for words.

Yesterday the nation was gripped by sheer and utter terror during an attack which outweighs every surprise attack (terrorist or otherwise) that has ever come against our nation. The final body count from this will be staggering. The loss of life, unimaginable. The number of lives affected by this, too vast to explain.

All I can say is, we’ve witnessed history. This is a time which will be reflected upon for a long, long time. The actions and decisions made from this point on will be studied by our children’s children.

That being said, I would advise you all to watch your behavior. All signs point to Osama Bin-Laden at this point, but we really do not know who has done this. Enemies of freedom and liberty are not restricted to residing in the Middle East alone. Before we mobilize our mob mentality and start screaming to nuke all the ‘ragheads’ and whatnot, let us at least make sure we are condeming the correct people. Acting against innocents would make us no better than the terrorists which we have so come to despise.

I do support a swift, hard and punishing retaliation to this act. There is no doubt this is the Pearl Harbor of our time and we are at war with whoever did this, whether they be a rag-tag military group hiding in some country, an actual government of another nation, or a group of our own citizens living right here within our borders. Whoever did this, will have the entire force of the United States come down upon them. And come down hard.

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Ray Lewis in a tutu

Now that the NFL season is underway, I have to do a obligatory NFL related post. Mind you, the NFL isn’t college football but it does give us something to do on Sundays.

Ray Lewis was indicted for murder (the charges were later dropped). Ray Lewis was 3 time AFC defensive player of the year. Ray Lewis is a bad ass. ESPN isn’t skeered, they put him on the front page of ESPN.Com, in a tutu. I showed my brother this and he didn’t get it. Then again, my brother didn’t get the “Cam Newton stole my other sign” idea…

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