My Hero- Best Way to Quit a Hard Job EVER

Steven Slater had a hard job. He was an airline steward, and had been for 28 years. On August 9, 2010, he was working on a Jet Blue flight landing at JFK in New York City. As the flight was still taxiing, one of the passengers stood and began removing her carry-on bag from the overhead storage bin. Slater approached the passenger, and asked her to sit down, per FAA regulations.

The passenger continued pulling at her bag, which forcefully slid out, striking Slater in the head. Slater asked for an apology, at which point the passenger cursed him out, apparently giving him a “F you” and calling him a “mo fo”. This is where it gets good, and Steven Slater moves into my pantheon of heroes.

Faced with this provocation from an impatient, rude and dangerous bitch, Slater returned to his station, and if I understand what CNN hinted, told the flight over the intercom that he was quitting after 28 years so he wouldn’t have to deal with bitches like the one he had just encountered. He then took two beers from the gallley, pulled the emergency stop switch and activated the slide, and slid down the inflatable ramp. Hopefully giving a two-finger salute on the way down.

After he landed, Slater ran to his jeep, drove home to Queens, and according to NBC, was apparently having sex when police arrested him at his home in Queens. He has been charged with 2nd-and 4th-degree criminal mischief, 1st- and 2nd-degree reckless endangerment and criminal trespass in the 3rd degree.

Now, if there is any justice, Steven Slater will have the felony charges (second degree criminal mischief and first degree reckless endangerment) dropped, get 1 year probation for the other charges, the bitch that started and aggravated the incident will be charged (for aggravated assault and reckless endangerment) and NOT get probation, and Slater will sell the movie or tv rights to his story and never have to buy his own drinks for the rest of his life. Hopefully, a Steven Slater Legal Defense Fund has already been started.

Here’s to you, Steve Slater: you exited your dreary, thankless job in a way most of us will only ever fantasize about.

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4 Comments

  1. Posted August 10, 2010 at 9:17 am Permalink

    The reporters were asking him why he was smiling when he was taken away in handcuffs.

    Was it because he just got laid or because he finally got to do what he’d probably wanted to do for a long damn time? From what I understand the passengers (for the most part at least) thought what he did was awesome.

    By the way, I think I finally sorted out the centering image mess, now images should actually display as centered if you choose that.

  2. Chaos
    Posted August 10, 2010 at 4:18 pm Permalink

    You stole my story!

  3. Chaos
    Posted August 13, 2010 at 10:45 am Permalink

    I thought you might enjoy this:

  4. Posted August 13, 2010 at 10:53 am Permalink

    Heh, awesome depiction of the event.

One Trackback

  1. By Humor Me | The Asylum on August 12, 2010 at 9:07 am

    [...] As I wandered, I was displeased to find that most blogs lack an element of humor. Some have it, but most just come off as bitter when they try to be snarky and many seem too pretentious to try to amuse their readers. There is humor out there though. Some recognize that if they are not actually funny themselves, they can at least find things that are funny and bring it to our attention. For example, AmyOops brought us a few pictures of Spectre’s hero. [...]

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