iPhone Engrish

I honestly don’t love the iPhone (or Touch to be more specific) as a gaming platform. The lack of any actual buttons makes playing a lot of games incredibly difficult and a vast majority of the games are no better than something you would play in a browser. Having said that, the abundance of games and the frequency of free games makes for a constantly evolving platform. Quantity and easy access provides a alternative to expensive and admittedly far superior console games. This is a long way of saying I’ve been sucked into frequently checking what new games are out and even what games are free (even though the Touch is jail broken ironically enough).

The app store is absolutely littered with insanely horrible games. Even some of the better games are missing important elements such as a story, decent graphics, or more than 20 minutes of game play. This lack of polish it not without it’s more amusing moments. The app store is littered with “engrish“. The descriptions themselves can become a great source of amusement. Perhaps not quite on the same level as “All your base are belong to us” but funny never the less.

Vampire’s Library’s description says this:

You are Vampire`s Assistant. Your Master most like to read Book. But he never cleanup. His Library is not clean always.

CleanUp all Books. It`s your work. If you move too slow, Your Master does drinking your blood.

Glutton Truck brings us this interesting description:

You can eat enemy cars as being to drive a car.
Eat a lot, further increasing the size of your car,
you will be able to eat car more big.

Also, if you crash the enemy and you will get the double score.
You do not touch enemy if them bigger than you.
See Energy Bar on left top of screen. you can know your size.

Finally, you have triggered your turbo when your energy bar full.
Please see “How to Play” menu in Game. That is a more detail description.

Finally, Destroy9 – Alien says this piece of wonderment:

The Enemies are made of special artificial intelligence
will disturb you and high sensitivity, cool action will be excited.

It’s almost beautiful, like a haiku or something…

Oh yeah, I can’t forget Ralph’s app: Ralph Watson – Official App. It’s not funny or anything but it’s a app and it’s RW’s so….

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  1. Chaos
    Posted June 28, 2010 at 11:31 am Permalink

    Engrish is so funny.. too bad most people here don’t speak it…

  2. RW
    Posted June 30, 2010 at 8:57 pm Permalink

    I love my iPhone… I’m no apple fanboy but my iPhone is my frickin world man. I am glued to it – we can watch TV on it live over here so if I’m on the toilet, I watch TV on it… emails, sat Nav, eBay, Twitter, games… best games are IMO: Metal Gear Solid, Sandstorm, Terminator, Angry Birds, Need For Speed Underground, X2 Football, Backbreaker, Virtual Pool – BLAH BLAH. check these out if you haven’t already – also, my own APP: I look to have updated soon with more music and vids…

    Anyway, iOS4 sux and now it crashes and hangs like byatch :(

  3. Posted July 1, 2010 at 3:02 am Permalink

    Personally I never cared for Apple products, but their App Store is just so superior to everything else that it makes it hard to overlook. If I recommended any smart phone right now it would have to be a iPhone.

    Be sure to update us when you update your app, I had to throw a link in there…
    As far as OS4, one thing I’m hearing is make sure it’s backed up and do a restore, but I’m not hazarding a update right now. I heard some people even lost all their contacts when they updated.

    My app recommendations/pretty good for free/.99 cents would include:
    The Creeps!, iBlask Mokie, Tiki Totems Premium, Hero of Sparta, Stone Wars, Tilt to Live, and Fare City. The problem with the iPhone/Touch isn’t the app store, it’s the fact that if you use it enough you will run out of space no matter how big it is.

  4. Chaos
    Posted July 1, 2010 at 10:05 am Permalink

    Apple made all of us their bitch!

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