Departed words

I decided to dig up something I wrote a long time ago, to kind of contrast how I felt about things and expressed myself then to how I do so now. In this instance, it was something I wrote in my teenage years for my site, Rydas.com. As most of you will not recall, Rydas.Com had a editorial section and I wrote said piece for that section. As I read it, I realized I wrote it at the prompting of Jessika. This brings a odd sort of synergy to another previous post I made here, in which Jessika alludes to her sister-in-law being killed by a drunk driver (I incorrectly said sister in my editorial). Some of you may know that Jessika was killed in a car wreck as well. Anyway, this was a topic that mattered to her so I’m sure she’d appreciate it being posted again even if I took liberty with the topic):

Responsibility

Damn, for some reason I’m exhausted. Some one sent me a AIM IM yesterday and asked if I could discuss drunk driving. I woke up and saw the message (I fell asleep at the comp),and I thought about it. I decided to discuss a more general topic, but what is at the root of the problem with drunk driving. Lack of responsibility.

Drinking is one of the ultimate excuses. I was drunk. How many times have you heard that? There is even this consensus that you have to baby sit drunks. Bring a dedicated driver, baby sit the drunk,take the keys. When did we became a country , or a world for that matter when simple rational choices where beyond us? I mean, a drunk driver will go as far as to blame driving drunk on being drunk. Some chick gets drunk and sleeps with like four guys, and she did it because she was drunk. Hell being drunk is a perfect excuse for anything.

I hate to break it to you, but being drunk doesn’t make you brain dead. It impairs your motor functions as much as anything. Being drunk slows everything. Thoughts, actions, but to be honest it doesn’t make you stupid. If you are a stupid drunk, you are stupid sober. May be you do a better job of hiding it, but that’s about all. Being drunk is just a excuse, a excuse to do stupid shit. You step into a car, you are putting your life,and others lives at risk. And you can’t give me any fucking excuses. You knew what you where doing when you drank, and you knew what you where doing when you stepped into the car.

There are all kind of operating machinery warnings on medication, and alchohol. And we all know that almost any drug can and will impair you. Don’t think it will help, oh it’s speed I will focus more. Umm well you might talk twice as fast, think twice as fast, but you might also think about the meaning of life ten times more and not pay attention to the damn road. Or over react, because you are in spaz mode and cause a wreck. Fact is almost anything that changes your mental or physical state considerably, shouldn’t be used when operating machinery.

Sounds lame does it? Oh, I can smoke a joint and drive. I can have a drink and drive. I can take these pills and still fuck around with machinery. Well, let me tell you about some of the shit I have seen.

Cold medication, that isn’t shit is it? Well did you see the warning about it making you drowsy? One of my fathers best friends at work got mulched. He feel asleep on a conveyor belt, he had been taking cold medication. Everyone else got to dig the pieces out. Read warnings, don’t understimate them. He wasn’t responsible and he lost his life, all it cost others was his friends had to dig him out piece by piece.

My friend recently told me her sister was killed by a drunk driver. Yet another life taken by some irresponsible dipshit. And don’t give me this I can drive perfectly well if I have only had a little bit to drink. Why do you think drunk drives cause so many fatal crashes? Sheer luck? HA! I have seen drunk drivers all over the fucking road, many a time. I have even seen my usually stable brother driving drunk in front of us one time. And I’ll be damned if I couldn’t tell he was drunk. Hell, his irresponsiblity could have put me in harms way even if I wasn’t in the car. Don’t ever think when you step into a car after drinking you aren’t putting your live,and no telling how many others at risk. Be responsible. Oh, you live a good life take care of your family. What if it’s your families care you slam into?

Oh, I drive better after I smoke weed. I have heard that before, but no one denies that if affects you. Hell I can remember the first time I ever drove, it was when I was high. It took me a few minutes to get the key in, thankfully I didn’t have far to go. But, I have heard all these excuses for why driving high is fine. Well I have a excuse not to.

Courtney.

Courtney was a 12 year old at the little disfunctional inner city school I went to. What morons idea it was to mix a few kids with us social misfits, I’ll never know. But for some reason she was going there. As was her two pot head brothers (and friends of mine) Eric, and Ryan. Now, I have smoked my share of weed. And I’m not even using pot head as a negative term. But they where potheads. Ryan had been in and out of rehab and gotten in his share of fights with the cops (litterally). Hell I’m sure he was at our school cuz he got kicked out of a few others. Haha hell, Eric, Ryan, Derick and I all left, or more appropriately where escorted out of the last school we went to (IMS). That’s what the school was, a reject school. And we where the popular kids. Meaning we where the most fucked up ones. I’m rambling, suffice it to say we where a last chance school. If you where a totall fuck up you came there

So anyway Eric and Ryan loved weed, as did Eric’s girlfriend Tiffany. Tiffanny’s mother loved crack. She was irresponsible as hell to say the least. Tiffany didn’t have her driver’s liscense. But, her mother wouldn’t take her to school. So, Tiffany, who didn’t even have a drivers liscense drove to school. Eric’s parents, or was it the schools principle? I’m not sure any more but one knew Tifanny didn’t have her drivers liscense but let her drive anyway. Not just let her drive, but let her take her boyfriend, Eric,and Courtney home. Well as I said they loved weed,well Courtney always asked about the funny smelling cigarettes, but she wasn’t a big fan of weed, didnt’ even know for sure what it was.

Well they where driving home, Tiffanny driving, both Eric and Tiffany where high. Courtney didn’t have her seat belt on. She was in the middle of the back seat, and when she was told to she didn’t put it on (that is where you stop the car and help them put their seat belt on by the way). Well if you know shit about people when they are high they go off on some topic of conversation, and become totally caught up in it. Eric didn’t have his seat belt on either, he showed how he would just put his legs up on the dashboard of the car if they got in a wreck. Courtney still sitting in the middle without her seatbelt on. Well Tiffany was high and aparently too interested in the coversation, instead of driving. Somehow she ended up in the other lane, into oncoming traffic. Head on with a van.

Courtney flew into the dashboard head first and died instantly. Eric still had his feet on the dash. He fucked up his spine pretty bad ,a long with a lot of other serious injuries. He was in critical for a while. May be it was better than flying out,but I doubt it. Tiffany got off easy, she had a air bag,and a seat belt. She only ended up with a couple broken legs and a broken arm and a few other things. The driver of the van died to. His family and kids where pretty upset.

Last time I saw Courtney she was sitting in a casket. Eric, was walking with a cane (he had made huge improvements, suprised the doctors) and looking more pale and feeble than I ever have. Tiffany, was happy she could stand up and was giving out hugs. And sharing the weed her father bought her. The family of the man that died decided not to press charges.

Why did I tell you this big ass story you don’t give a fuck about? Because it could have been so easily prevented. Not one, not two, but various people didn’t fufill their responsibilities. Now, I’m not saying that you could have prevented it shit. I mean hypothetically if something bad happens to some one you know a simple phone call could have prevented it. Then again no telling how many times your actions prevented them from coming into harms way. But, if it’s your repsonsilibility to do something. If you have other peoples well being in your care. BE RESPONSIBLE!. What you do with your own life is your business. But, if your fuck ups spill over into my life. Don’t think I won’t pay back your fuck ups with retribution if I see fit.

The first person wasn’t responsible. He only lost his life. The second wasn’t responsible and brought suffering into another’s life. The third, ended up bringing suffering into many peoples lives. All because a simple lack of responsiblity.

I recently said in the Asylum that everything we do was something or some one else’s fault. If a kid blows away people at school it was Doom’s fault. Bla bla bla. Never your fault, something else, some one else’s. Next time you do something, think about it. Why are you doing it? How could it affect others? Are you not being responsible? Are you willing to risk your life,and others? Are you ready to live, or die knowing that you wasted life?

Don’t make excuses. I don’t care if your girlfriend broke up with you. No excuse to go out drinking, and drive drunk. Thus risking no telling who’s life. Rationalize all you want, try to justify your actions. But remember. If you aren’t responsible. You will have to live with the consequences. If you survive them at all.

-KrÅzY †³ - 11.12.00

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